Comments for Adams Wife's Weblog

Comment on Uncle! by Zazzy

Zazzy — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 21:55:16 +0000

How horrible - I hope that they find them and everything works out all right. Hugs
**Thanks, Zaz. We’re all hoping the same.

Comment on It Just Keeps Getting Better by Skittles

Skittles — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 13:11:49 +0000

My daughter (age 29) has bad asthma so I know how scary those attacks can be.
**And she HATES giving in to them and going for treatment when she needs it. If she’d give in sooner she might not get so bad. :-S

Comment on Not Needed by Susan Gill

Susan Gill — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 12:25:01 +0000

Mothers and daughters are forever at odds, or so I have been told for more years than I care to admit. My marriage, to my daughter’s father, was so physically, verbally and psychologically abusive that I couldn’t share that with a small child, a preteen and then a teenager. It wasn’t until she walked into her father punching and kicking me into a corner of our bedroom. Unfortunately that is the only incident she has ever been aware of and cannot understand how I still hold such hostile feelings or why I took her and ran, until she was passed the age of 18 ( shortly after that incident her father admitted, to me, that he was having sexual fantasies about our daughter ). There is a huge rift in a once wonderful relationship; a rift that I have tried to over come for years, a rift that has caused me more pain than I ever experienced in my marriage to her father. I can only advice you to expand your own life. Take some classes, if you have been a stay at home mom consider a part time job or if you work perhaps a job change….something that you have always wanted to do. If she is living in your home give her a written list of the rules of the house and what is expected of her. If she chooses to disobey those rules, quietly and without emotion, tell her it’s time for her to move into her own place ( and that will break your heart ). If you are sharing a place, save until you can move into your place and as soon as possible do so, but try to do so without enmity. She will find that having mom around for that extra twenty dollars, or cooking ( even if she pointedly misses meal ), doing her laundry etc…whatever the extras she has become used to are suddenly missing. Until then, only make dinner for yourself, don’t do her laundry, don’t pay her bills (ever seen a young woman without access to a phone? It’s not pretty). At some point in time she will return to you, she will need a different type of relationship and it won’t be easy, however she will eventually come back. Bless you and I truly feel ever bit of your pain.

By the way, I remarried twelve years ago to a wonderful man, and to a lesser extent have had the same issues with step daughters however I now have a wonderful relationship with one of them, so the cycle continues. But I have become a happier and much calmer person with the realization that mothers and daughters will always have issues and the only thing that we can do is pray for their safety and find ways to maintain our own sanity.

If you need a sounding board feel free to contact me.

Susan

**So sorry you had to go through all that. I think it’s time for me to get serious about getting my own place. It will take a few months to save up enough for first month’s rent and deposit, but I think we both need for me to be on my own. In the meantime, I think I’ll look for a part-time or temporary job. I need a reason to get up and out of the house.**

Comment on Hello by Forgetfulone

Forgetfulone — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 05:41:15 +0000

Glad to hear from you! Congrats to your daughter, and glad you are healing well.
Forgetfulone´s last blog ..Sunday Scrappin

Comment on Hello by Zazzy

Zazzy — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 20:37:37 +0000

Hey good to see you again! I would find that bit of scar tissue really annoying, too. I hope it heals up (goes away?) soon for you!

Comment on Good-bye Mr. Ed by mitchypoo

mitchypoo — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 21:10:04 +0000

I lost my earlier post so I hope this doesn’t duplicate.

I lost my Father 4 years ago this May and I still find myself missing him at the oddest times. Something will happen and I hear his sarcastic comment and his chuckle. I think it’s good to remember those things and although painful sometimes to remember, it’s comforting too to have them still in our lives.

Grief is a process, sometimes a long one.

Comment on Good-bye Mr. Ed by Christine

Christine — Sun, 30 May 2010 22:42:17 +0000

It is soon coming up 8 months for me. The time has gone fast and then at times seems to have stopped. It still does not seem real. At times it is getting a little easier but so often the pain can be just as raw as at the beginning. We will always miss them. Somehow we have to figure out who we are now, pick up the pieces and learn to live again. That is not an easy thing.

I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better and starting to get out and about. Things have been so hard for you and complicated by not being well. YOu go girl! Hugs.

Comment on Good-bye Mr. Ed by Jientje

Jientje — Mon, 17 May 2010 11:24:12 +0000

I’m so glad you could feel his presence when you most needed him.

Comment on Who Am I? by Forgetfulone

Forgetfulone — Sun, 16 May 2010 21:01:09 +0000

And we have missed you, too.
Forgetfulone´s last blog ..It’s Just My Opinion

Comment on Who Am I? by Jientje

Jientje — Thu, 13 May 2010 08:25:14 +0000

That’s what I was thinking when I read it, maybe she’s going to take pictures for us! Can’t wait to see some pictures from your part of the world! I’m so glad you’re feeling so well again, you’re the Eve I used to know when I first met you!