Adams Wife’s Weblog

It occurred to me this morning that Christmas Eve has always been my favorite day of the season.   When I was growing up my dad always had to work Christmas day.  (He worked at the post office and was one of the few who could be counted on to show up sober on Christmas and New Year’s.)  So our big celebration was on Christmas Eve.  We always went to Grandma’s house with all the other relatives.  She made turkey and all the trimmings.  After dinner the presents came out.  Grandma always gave the best gifts!  Sometime during the evening Dad and one or two of the other men would have to go out for one reason or another - some last minute thing that just had to be done.   When we left Grandma’s house we always drove around town to see the light displays.  Working at the post office Dad heard about the best displays from the guys who delivered the mail.  And then it would be home for the night.  When we got home Santa had always been to the house and left our gifts while we were gone.  It was a wonderful time of life.

As an adult I miss the gathering of relatives at Grandma’s house.  I miss the evening with Mom and Dad when they have nothing to distract them from us.  And I miss sleeping in on Christmas morning!  Dad eventually got enough seniority not to have to work Christmas day, but we continued to have our main celebration on Christmas Eve.

This year the grandkids and I are making goodies for our Christmas Eve party (just us).  We will be baking some bread and cinnamon rolls, making tortilla pinwheels, cheese ball, chocolate pie, egg nog, and other good stuff.   Then the six of us are going to turn on some Christmas music, eat all the goodies, and get ready for Santa to come visit us.  I just know it’s gonna be a wonderful day!  I hope all of you have a most wonderful day, too.

M E R R Y   C H R I S T M A S

I tried to make this post red, but my font colors are not working for some reason.  The dashboard assures me that the font is red - but I only see black.  lol

At the rate I’ve been posting lately, this may be my last chance to wish you all a very Merry Christmas.  I took the g’children shopping Saturday.  Yesterday we wrapped the gifts.  We all went to the Christmas party at Church Saturday evening.  I’m beginning to catch the spirit of the Season a bit.  Looking forward to a quiet Christmas day after a rambunctious Christmas Eve.  We will be doing some baking the next few days so that we can take goodies to our neighbors and friends.  It’s very difficult for me to relax and let the kids help me, but I’m determined to make it fun for all!   It has long been our tradition to go out Christmas Eve and view the beautiful light displays around town.   Christmas Eve we will be having cheese and crackers and other appetizer-type things for our supper.  Christmas morning we will have a leisurely breakfast after the gifts are opened and enjoyed.  Then the kids will go to their dad’s for a few days.  Daughter and I will be going to lunch at a very nice restaurant and then to a movie to fill in the quiet hours of the day.  We’re looking forward to this new tradition.  We are consciously trying to build new traditions that will last from year to year.  It’s a good thing.

I’m feeling a lot more upbeat today.  Partly it is due to my grandson coming home from kindergarten singing at the top of his lungs:  “Jingle, bells, jingle bells…”  He loves to sing and does a very good job of it.  Makes an old grandma smile.   This made me smile, too.  Hope it brightens your day, too.  

One more week ’til Christmas.  I can’t get into the Christmas spirit this year.  It just doesn’t seem real that it’s only a week away.  Part of the problem is I’ve been under the weather again.  Had to call off work a couple days this week.  That kicked me out of the transition class.  I will start a new class December 30.  In some ways I am very grateful not to have to work for a couple weeks.  It’s been stressful for me and for the grandkids to have me working every evening from before they get home from school ’til they go to bed.  They miss grandma, and I miss them.  I’m hoping when I complete the training and actually start work it will be better.  I should only be putting in four hours a day then.  I hope they mostly schedule me from noon to four or from six to ten.  Either of those times would make it fairly easy to get the kids some supper every night at a reasonable hour.  Lately they’ve had to eat whatever they could find or fix for themselves.  Mom gets home from work, depending on her shift, between 6:00 and 10:00 pm.  So, I really need to be able to have supper for them and give them that much structure in their lives.

I wish I could think of something clever or uplifting to write about.  Maybe next year.

I love the Christmas season.  I love the story of our Savior’s birth.  What’s more I believe it with all my heart.  I love the giving and receiving of presents.  I love the making of breads and other good things to eat.  That being said, I have to admit that this year it’s all a bit much for me.  I find myself crying for seemingly no reason at all.  Last year I was so involved in trying to make things OK for my daughter and her kids after The Idiot walked out on them that I didn’t have time to realize the difference in my own situation.  This should be a time of joy and wonder and not a time of mourning and loss.  However, by the very nature of the season, the expectations that we hold for magic and happiness, mourning becomes a natural byproduct for those who have lost loved ones, those whose families have been broken.  So, while I long to sing songs, to experience the wonder of the season (and this is not entirely lost) I have to take time out to remember better days and to mourn their loss.  It makes the season in some ways more meaningful.

I finished my on-line shopping yesterday.  I had hoped to find what I wanted for all four kids at the same store.  I ended up having to order from three different places to get what I needed.  That makes the shipping costs a bit more.  But, I found what I wanted and now I can relax.  Three of the four gifts are even coming already wrapped.  Now I just have to pick up a few ‘little things’ to round out the day.  And I have one stop to make for my daughter.  I ordered something for her online, too.  Looking forward to a Merry Christmas.

It’s that time of year.  The Christmas cards have begun to arrive.  I love getting Christmas cards.  But - I stopped sending them out a few years ago.  It was never a conscious decision not to send cards.  It’s just that the last few years have been very demanding on my physical energies and rather scarce with monetary resources.  Now I find that I’ve lost the desire to sit down and write the messages, pick which card is best for whom, and mail off all those cards.  I feel just a little bit guilty when I stop to think about it, but not enough to give me the impetus to do it.  Maybe next year.  I’m sure the world will be a kinder, gentler place next year.  And I won’t be taking classes every day from 2:pm ’til 9:pm learning a new job.  If you’re a person who still enjoys sending Christmas cards, please put me on your list.  I’m always pleasantly surprised when one comes in the mail.  I treasure each one.  It’s my habit to hang them on the door for all to see thus brightening the room.

Speaking of job training - it’s nearly finished.  Friday I go from classes to “transition.”  In transition we will actually be taking calls from DirecTV customers for part of each evening.  We will have a coach listening in and helping with any problems we may have.  I advise you not to call DirecTV during this period.  If you get one of us you may be on the phone twice as long as you anticipate.  However, we would appreciate a few compassionate, patient customers to practice on.  And you might get lucky and not get one of the ’students.’  I get four days off for Christmas, then become a full-fledged CSR (customer service rep) on December 28.  I look forward to that time, because my time commitment will lessen.  From 35 hours a week I will drop back to 20 hours a week.  I’m sure my grandchildren are looking forward to that, too.  Right now it’s “Don’t bother me, I have to listen to the teacher.”  I’m on the phone before they get home from school and log off when they’re going to bed.  It will be nice for all of us to have grandma available for a few hours each evening.  I rather miss the little darlings.

Thank heaven that the ‘flu bug seems to have left our house.  The kids are all back in school today, I no longer feel the urge to upchuck, and daughter is nearly well, too.  And thank you to all my friends who sent good wishes during this time.  Thank you for your love, your concern, and your attention.  Sometimes when you’re sick the best thing anyone can do is to acknowledge just how miserable you are. Â

Now it’s time to start thinking about Christmas and the New Year.  I used to really enjoy New Year’s Eve parties.  In recent years staying up late with the grandkids is all the excitement I’ve been able to find.  We’ll have to see what this year brings.

No, I didn’t hit the sales this morning.  I’d very much like to post something really awe-inspiring and articulate about all the good things I enjoy.  However, I’m finding it very difficult to be grateful for getting the stomach flu for Thanksgiving.  No turkey, no gravy, no smashed taters.  And definitely no pumpkin pie.  I am no longer worshiping the porcelain god, but I’m still not celebrating with good food.  I’ve had Sprite and chicken broth to sustain me today.  The best I can do for gratitude is to be thankful it didn’t land me in the hospital.

I’m too tired to make good sense tonight, but wanted to do a post anyway.

Today I’m thankful for a grandson who likes to watch TV with me.  He loves Bones, NCIS, and all the CSI’s.  I’ve missed having someone to watch TV with.  It’s just more fun when there’s someone else in the room.  Tonight I had to go to the door and missed a few minutes of CSI: Miami.  He caught me up on the parts I missed.  What a great kid.

They may write songs about the end of a perfect day, but the end of an imperfect week is a much more joyous occasion.  I am beginning to realize that I miss my evenings spent in front of the TV with only occasional interruptions from the grandkids.  I miss wrapping up in my blankie and having a short nap between programs.  I miss the quiet and the peace of relaxing with a good book if there are no programs that interest me.  Such have been my evenings for several years now.  Lately my evenings have been filled with training for this new job.  Not so restful nor relaxing.  If the grandkids interrupt they must be hushed and shooed back up the stairs so as not to interfere with my learning.  So today I am grateful for days off, for weekends when I don’t have to sign on and listen to the latest lecture about how to assist customers at DirecTV.

Don’t get me wrong - I am grateful to have employment.  And I think I will enjoy my job.  Just for right now I miss the way things used to be.